The path to reinvention.

It was around two months ago when I first noticed I was lost.
In myself, that was. I'd tried so hard to impress people and hide my imperfections that I'd lost sight of a lot of things. I found myself easily influenced and I was seduced by promises of how things could be. Of course, the things that could be never were.

As my anxiety grew by the day, and I was told to stop being stupid about things, I thought I was losing my mind. I reached new lows where I would look at myself in a mirror and not know who was staring back. I would sob uncontrollably until it hurt to breathe and I would stare into space waiting for someone to reach out and help. Not that I would ever ask for it. Occasionally, I would share these anxieties with friends. But it was difficult; I felt like I was betraying myself and other people whenever I opened my mouth.

Then there was a that day. I don't need to share what happened with the internet. But I took a deep breath in. I wasn't going mad. Everything was out in the open, and while my future seemed bleak for a while, it was no longer hanging on an edge. I was no longer grasping at straws. It had gone.

As I went through a cycle of emotions, mainly ill timed anger, I cleared out all of my demons. I looked in the mirror again and this time I didn't see the girl that I saw before this started- or the girl that was going through hell. I saw the brave little wolf that was ready to better herself and come out fighting.

I am still extremely proud of myself for pulling myself through this. And as a result of it, I decided to reinvent myself so that I could be the person I always willed myself to be.

Some people may see it as vein- to reinvent yourself via looks and styles. But in my opinion, how can you begin to believe what's on the inside if you're looking at something completely different every day? I started by clearing out my belongings. I looked at my wardrobe and at how other people perceived me. I no longer wanted to be the colourful little girl. I wanted to be the dark, mysterious twenty-something that reminded people of their heroines of the nineties.

I've been revamping myself in small, simple steps. Starting with jewellery. It's amazing what a cute little choker can do.