This weekend.

I guess it all started on Friday night, as most people's weekends do. There was a series of events over the past few weeks that by Friday night, ended in me having a conversation with my ex for the first time since we split up. I guess I've been a little bit scared to talk to him. I was still a little angry, and I didn't want that to spill out. I wanted to be calm and collected. But unfortunately, due to some trouble I've been having all week with my hip and my knee, I was about doubled over on Naproxen. It wasn't my finest hour from a literary perspective. However, I'm still proud of myself. I didn't say anything I shouldn't, it wasn't awkward (I don't think so anyway) and most importantly, I wasn't overwhelmed with emotions. I felt very detached from him, as if nothing was ever there. On some levels I guess that's a little sad, but I'm happy to be able to move on from that time of my life. I felt a little sorry for him, due to the previously mentioned series of events, but other than that; nothing.
By Saturday morning, I was feeling a lot better. The pain in my hip had miraculously dwindled. I had brown cinammon sugar pop tarts for breakfast with really good coffee while I listened to the Pet Shop Boys and played GTAV.  During which, I had a quick little scroll through my twitter feed only to see that Tonight Alive and One OK Rock were planning on touring around Europe together this December. I instantly told my very good friend, Lee, who I knew would want to go. Unfortunately, the tickets for London were all sold out. But then Lee & I had a look to see who else would be touring in the UK soon, and we stumbled upon a Crossfaith gig at Koko in November. My best friend Hilary also likes them so the three of us have bought tickets and I am so excited to see them!
Hilary & I are going to see Darlia at the end of September in Nottingham. In February this year, we went to see The 1975 supported by Wolf Alice and The Neighbourhood in Norwich. Granted, Hilary only came because I wanted to go, and my motives were only for The Neighbourhood. But Wolf Alice were also amazing and we left half way through The 1975's set and we had a fantastic night.
Anyway, back to this weekend, after booking the tickets, I finally jumped in the shower and afterwards decided to chalk my hair. I'd bought some pink chalks and I'd been saving them, but I was just so excited and on such a high thinking about all of my plans for the next few months, I wanted to do it.
I used different shades of pink and some lilac stripes through it all. I love it so much, that I've actually decided to dye it like this permanently. My cousin, who is incidentally my hairdresser, is on holiday at the moment. But when I have a little bit of cash and she's back, I'm going to ask her to dye it for me.
Today I spent the morning focussing on tidying things up. I'm currently listening to Royal Blood's new album which is amazing and I'm feeling really good.

My Not So Secret Hatred For Keyboard Warriors.

The Urban Dictionary Definition of 'Keyboard Warrior':

1. A Person who, being unable to express his anger through physical violence (owning to their physical weakness, lack of bravery and/or conviction in real life), instead manifests said emotions through the text-based medium of the internet, usually in the form of aggressive writing that the Keyboard Warrior would not (for reasons previously mentioned) be able to give form to in real life.

2. The term is a combination of the word 'keyboard' (the main tool by which the person expresses his/her latent rage) and 'warrior' (due to the warrior-like aggression, tendency towards violence, headstrong nature and propensity towards brute force as a means of resolving conflict rather than more subtle means dependant on finesse).

3. The Keyboard Warrior seeks to use the power imbued in his 'weapon' to effect death and destruction (in a strictly-metaphorical sense) upon his foes (other virtual identities he has encountered on the internet). In essence, the keyboard (ie. text input ability) allows the keyboard warrior to manifest his true warrior nature in a safe and removed environment, from which no real-life repercussions .

4. Keyboard Warriors are generally identified by unnecessary rage in their written communications, and are regarded as 'losers' by other virtual identities on the internet.



My own definition of a 'Keyboard Warrior':

Someone who spends the majority of their time hidden behind the keyboard. Who incessantly tweets and posts random shit that winds you up the wall. Whether it's an unwanted opinion or some kind of warped self representation of themselves, keyboard warriors can't help but ruin your evening by flooding your Facebook with loved up statuses to their partners (this wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't every five minutes of the day) or set you up in a bad mood for the morning by tweeting something so incredibly stupid that you can't quite comprehend how they manage to spell their own name. Keyboard warriors aren't necessarily always angry, in my opinion, sometimes they're just cocky.

Social media sites like Facebook and Twitter have provided us with fantastic opportunities to share happy moments with our friends and family, jokes with people from a similar outlook in life and up to date news and trends like the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Unfortunately there are those that don't use these sites in this way. There are those that publicly announce every upset of their life and manipulate situations to create drama and to get some twisted form of sympathy. These are my least favourite kind of people. 

I don't know, I guess I'm just sick of people who put a front on over the internet and then when you see them in person are not only completely different, but also incredibly annoying to look at because of how much they annoy you whenever you go to see what your friends are up to. There's nothing wrong with having opinions, being yourself, having a joke around, but some people just seem to have the habit to be able to do this in the most irritating way possible.

Today has been an odd sort of day.

I woke up at an unearthly hour. I could hear Within Temptation playing on the radio and I was very confused as this was not the kind of music I was used to be woken up to on the weekend. Usually, my Dad stomps around in the morning and puts some god awful radio station on that's filled with women crying over their lost loves or some disco that's cheesier than a wheel of Epoisses.
We went to Tescos to stock the cupboards for the weekend as my parents were going to stay with my aunt in Wales. They left round about 12, and since then I've been asking the dog several times for his opinions on things such as Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor Who and what he thought about the fact it rained three times since they left.
My mum text me a while ago and reminded me that the money for a dress I returned the other day should have come through by now. Which also prompted me to move some money around, and gave me a little fund for some jewellery shopping. (When the little gems arrive I shall be making a blog post about them).
About an hour ago, I was watching Family Guy and he started making this little whimpering sound. The little angel was having a bad dream, so once he woke up I scooped him up and cuddled him in the armchair for about half an hour.
I'm currently listening to The Neighbourhood in bed contemplating whether I should have an early night. Tomorrow morning I'm going to take Archie on a walk and then come home and tidy up ready for a night with Hilary. I'm going to paint my nails and sing at the top of my lungs and take in the last few hours of me being completely alone with just a dog with extremely important opinions for company.
I'm aware that my blog posts stopped for a few days, and I do apologise for that. I've been extremely busy all week and I've not had a real chance to keep on track. I promise to start making more of an effort to post regularly.

2014: The Music I've loved so far.

I wanted to start doing a monthly music discoveries post, but there's so many bands/artists I've started listening to this year that I really wanted to share them with you. They aren't all necessarily new and they vary a lot so I'm hoping there's some stuff in my list that interests everyone.

1. Darlia 

Nathan Day, Dave Williams and Jack Bentham are a three piece band from Blackpool that I can only describe as a lovechild of Nirvana and Oasis. They have a distinctively British sound to them, but they really remind me of an early 90's grunge movement. I have often described them as the future of good music from the UK, and I'm proud to say I'm seeing them live next month in Nottingham. 

If you like this, give a listen to: Pandemonium, Candyman, Napalm, Choke on Bones, Queen of Hearts.

2. Wolf Alice

I saw Wolf Alice supporting The 1975 in Norwich back in February. The crowd seemed a bit indifferent to them, which really pissed me off. They were amazing. Wolf Alice are one of those bands that while they're on stage, they really commit. Ellie Rowsell, Joel Amey, Joff Oddie and Theo Ellis first released their debut single 'Fluffy' in February, but we were treated to one of their finest songs in Norwich. Moaning Lisa Smile is one of my all time favourite songs and makes me feel like I'm on another planet. Out of this world. 

If you like this, give a listen to: Storms, 90 Mile Beach, Fluffy, We're Not The Same, Bros, Blush, Heavenly Creatures.

3. The Neighbourhood

Technically, I'm cheating. I first discovered The Neighbourhood in October 2013. However, I didn't see them live until February 2013 (another support act for The 1975, and the reason we actually went to go see them). Jesse Rutherford, Jeremy Freedman, Zach Abels, Mikey Margott and Brandon Fried. An American blessing that formed in 2011 and hailed from California. They're most well known for their single "Sweater Weather" and that is how I too discovered them. 

If you like this, give a listen to: Afraid, Let It Go, Honest, How, W.D.Y.W.F.M (What Do You Want From Me?), Female Robbery.

4. The Pretty Reckless

As a Gossip Girl fan, I had to kick myself for not giving in sooner to listen to Taylor Momsen's lead vocals for The Pretty Reckless. Formed of Momsen, Ben Phillips, Mark Damon and Jamie Perkins, The Pretty Reckless could be described as post-grunge. Listening to them, I'd say they've been heavily influenced by bands like Nirvana.

If you like the sound of this, give a listen to: House on a Hill, My Medicine, Zombie, Fucked Up World.

I hope to give an update every month for new music that I find, with different styles featured throughout. Have you heard any great bands/artists this year? Comment below and let me know.

I'M BAD AT WRITING FILM REVIEWS: FILTH.

Tonight I watched James McAvoy in possibly one of his greatest roles. McAvoy plays Bruce Robertson, a manipulative, psychotic detective in the Edinburgh Police. The film follows his desperate attempt to fulfil his main goal in life: to become Detective Inspector. We watch Robertson as he he plays his games and hallucinates throughout. No words I use can describe McAvoy's ability to draw you in and make you emotionally involved with such an obnoxious character. As you watch him smoke and drink his way through Christmas morning, vomiting out of his car door, you really feel for the guy. 

McAvoy isn't the only star in this film. He's also accompanied by the fantastic Jim Broadbent playing Dr Rossi, Imogen Poots as Amanda Drummond and the unforgettable, never ageing Shirley Henderson as Bunty. 

I have to admit, I struggle with writing film reviews. I don't want to give anything away to you, as it really will spoil the viewing of this film. So trust me when I say: you need to watch this film.

Winter is Coming.

Okay, so, maybe not quite yet. But I couldn't resist the urge to quote my favourite show when it's coming up to my favourite seasons.
I absolutely love Autumn and Winter. To me, the summer is all the wrong kinds of lazy: lazy because you're too uncomfortable to do anything. As I'm naturally fair skinned, I don't do well in the heat. I like it to start off with, but I dehydrate easily and soon develop heat exhaustion and sometimes heatstroke. But in the Autumn, the air is fresh and cool. The leaves are falling and everything is in a beautiful golden hue. With the prospect of Halloween and the upcoming Winter festivities, I can't understand how you couldn't love the most magical seasons.

Here are my list of Autumn & Winter essentials, just to get the best out of the seasons:

1. Boots.
The best part of the colder months is that you are in control of how hot you are. If you want to keep toasty, it's probably best to invest in a few pairs of good boots. You lose a lot of heat through your hands and feet, and trust me when I say that getting wet feet in stupid shoes will make you ill. Nobody wants that.

2. Nature Walks.
Where I live, we're quite lucky to have a beautiful deer park nearby. It's filled with beautiful old ruins that have been reclaimed by the landscape and pretty little streams running all the way through. Autumn is the perfect time to see the natural wildlife before all the little creatures hide themselves away for winter. Equally as beautiful, is the silence of Winter. When the park is covered in snow and the only animals that will still come out to play are the deer, it's idyllic.

3. Embrace the Red Cups.
You know which ones I mean. Not the ones you were spilling at the house parties this summer or the ones you'll be toasting with at New Years, but winter specials you'll get from different coffee shops. Don't just stick to the Starbucks Red Cups (although make sure you have at least one), get down to Costa for a gingerbread latté. Last year they had adorable cups that looked like robins and St. Nick. And if any other little independent coffee shops near you are doing seasonal hot drinks, try them! They'll warm you from the inside out and put a smile on your face that the pouring rain couldn't wipe away.

4. Plan the best Halloween possible.
If you can't go out this year, that doesn't mean your Halloween can't be amazing. Make yourself some cute little cupcakes, pop some popcorn and find the scariest films possible. If you're looking for a Sci-Fi vibe, I'd suggest films like The Fourth Kind. If you're a fan of that, and like films like The Blair Witch Project, then give The McPherson Tape (90's version) a whirl. It goes by other names sometimes too (also known as Alien Abduction: Incident In Lake County). If you're going for jumps, Grave Encounters, Insidious and The Conjuring are all good at that. Although, the storyline of The Conjuring isn't that great. Maybe foreign cinema is your thing? The REC Trilogy is a good option in this case.
If you are going out, plan your costume. Work hard on your make up, and enjoy it. Get some photos with strangers in bars with equally awesome outfits. Halloween is a night to be free.

5. Don't think of it as 'Bad' Weather.
It's pouring down with rain and you're stood at a bus stop. Don't think of this as a bad thing. Breathe in. The moisture in the air feels so pure. If you're on your way home, does it really matter if your hair gets wet? You can have a hot bath when you get in, so just enjoy it.
So the car won't start because the engine's frozen and there's black ice on the road. Don't think of this as a bad thing. It's destiny's way of telling you that you deserved the day off. Crawl under a blanket with a hot chocolate and watch Elf. Write out your list of what to buy people for Christmas. Take some photos of the light dancing on the snow or the frost hanging from a spider's web.
Don't think of this as a bad thing.

Oh, and don't forget that now you can wear cute woolly hats.

The path to reinvention.

It was around two months ago when I first noticed I was lost.
In myself, that was. I'd tried so hard to impress people and hide my imperfections that I'd lost sight of a lot of things. I found myself easily influenced and I was seduced by promises of how things could be. Of course, the things that could be never were.

As my anxiety grew by the day, and I was told to stop being stupid about things, I thought I was losing my mind. I reached new lows where I would look at myself in a mirror and not know who was staring back. I would sob uncontrollably until it hurt to breathe and I would stare into space waiting for someone to reach out and help. Not that I would ever ask for it. Occasionally, I would share these anxieties with friends. But it was difficult; I felt like I was betraying myself and other people whenever I opened my mouth.

Then there was a that day. I don't need to share what happened with the internet. But I took a deep breath in. I wasn't going mad. Everything was out in the open, and while my future seemed bleak for a while, it was no longer hanging on an edge. I was no longer grasping at straws. It had gone.

As I went through a cycle of emotions, mainly ill timed anger, I cleared out all of my demons. I looked in the mirror again and this time I didn't see the girl that I saw before this started- or the girl that was going through hell. I saw the brave little wolf that was ready to better herself and come out fighting.

I am still extremely proud of myself for pulling myself through this. And as a result of it, I decided to reinvent myself so that I could be the person I always willed myself to be.

Some people may see it as vein- to reinvent yourself via looks and styles. But in my opinion, how can you begin to believe what's on the inside if you're looking at something completely different every day? I started by clearing out my belongings. I looked at my wardrobe and at how other people perceived me. I no longer wanted to be the colourful little girl. I wanted to be the dark, mysterious twenty-something that reminded people of their heroines of the nineties.

I've been revamping myself in small, simple steps. Starting with jewellery. It's amazing what a cute little choker can do.